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As I continued baby-sitting into February and March, Tamara started showing up to the door while she was still preparing to leave. I would arrive and she would come to the door wearing some lacy creation that clearly was not intended for public viewing.She seemed to enjoy my reactions to the outfits, and over time the outfits seemed to contain less and less material.I should have realized what was going on, but Tamara never made an openly sexual move, so I dropped my guard. In April, they changed gears a bit and while Tamara continued to meet me at the door wearing nearly nothing, George would now and then sit with me and discuss relationships. At first, it seemed just as casual as Tamara's talks from a few months before, however, in the last week of April he dropped an offer to help me catch the guy I wanted and I accepted without asking what he meant.It turned out that on that particular night, Tamara had taken the children to her sister's earlier in the day, which should have been. Even give in. And once you do that, once the pain goes away... youdon't ever want to go back to it. You'll do anything to avoid ever goingback to it.If you want my advice? You're better off just accepting things as theyare, and go with it. You'll save yourself a whole lot of pain, and awhole lot of anguish and shame, just by accepting the situation andtrying to make the best of it. And believe me, once you submit yourselfto your Master, you'll feel a whole lot better, too. Everything willjust suddenly seem... right, somehow.In any case, all of this is inevitable. You won't be able to stop it. Itried, I failed, and it didn't change a thing. So now I'm just an ownedgirl with a Master who uses her frequently and likes it that way, whodresses so that guys notice she's definitely a girl, who doesn't careabout martial arts anymore or any o f the things I used to, who tries tohide from her family and old friends because its too hard to explain whyshe can't go back anymore, and whose only.
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